Quote on a Cold Morning

"The only way to be truly misogynistic is to be a woman."

- Randy K. Milholland

Quote on a Down Day

"Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever."

- House, MD

Bus to Beelzebub

Get onto the bus,
That's gonna take you back to Beelzebub,
Get on to the bus,
That's gonna make you stop going rub a dub,

Your words burn the air,
Like the names of candy bars,
Your mouth is cold and red,
All in rings around your,
Laugh laughing laughs,

It's a grind, grind,
It's a grind,
It's a grind, grind,

I'll scratch you raw,
L'etat c'est moi,
I drink the drink,
And I'm wall to wall,
I absorb trust like a love rhombus,
I feel I must elucidate,
I ate the chump with guile,
Quadrilateral I was,
Now I warp like a smile,

Yellow number 5,
Yellow number 5, 5, 5,

Voulez-vous the bus?

- Soul Coughing

Fight Club

Narrator: Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?

Tyler Durden: C'mon, do me this one favor.

Narrator: Why?

Tyler Durden: Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?

Narrator: No, but that's a good thing.

Tyler Durden: No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.

Narrator: This is crazy.

Tyler Durden: So go crazy. Let 'er rip.

Narrator: I don't know about this.

Tyler Durden: I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?

Narrator: Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?

Tyler Durden: That's right.

Narrator: What, like in the face?

Tyler Durden: Surprise me.

Narrator: This is so fucking stupid...

[Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head]

Tyler Durden: Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear!

Narrator: Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.

Tyler Durden: Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?

Narrator: Guess I fucked it up...

Tyler Durden: No, that was perfect!

- Fight Club

Is That All There Is?

I remember when I was a very little girl,
our house caught on fire.
I'll never forget the look on my father's face
as he gathered me up
in his arms and raced through the burning building
out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas
and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to a fire?"

Is that all there is? Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing,
Let's break out the booze and have a ball,
If that's all there is...

And when I was 12 years old my father took me to a circus,
the greatest show on earth.
There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears,
and a beautiful lady in pink tights
flew high above our heads.
And so I sat there watching the marvelous spectacle,
I had the feeling that something was missing.
I didn't know what, but when it was over,
I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to a circus?"

Is that all there is? Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing,
Let's break out the booze and have a ball,
If that's all there is...

Then I fell in love, head over heels in love,
with the most wonderful boy in the world.
We would take long walks by the river
or just sit for hours gazing into each other's eyes.
We were so very much in love.
Then one day he went away and I thought I'd die,
but I didn't,
and when I didn't I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to love?"

Is that all there is? is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing.

I know what you must be saying to yourselves,
"If that's the way she feels about it
why doesn't she just end it all?"
Oh, no, not me.
I'm in no hurry for that final disappointment,
for I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you,
when that final moment comes and I'm breathing my lst breath,
I'll be saying to myself:

Is that all there is? Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing,
Let's break out the booze and have a ball,
If that's all there is...

- Peggy Lee

My Dick

My dick cost a late night fee,
Your dick got the HIV ,
My dick plays on the double feature screen,
Your dick went straight to DVD,

My dick: bigger than a bridge,
Your dick look like a little kid's,
My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team,
Your shit look like you fourteen,

My dick: locked in a cage, right,
Your dick suffer from stage fright,
My dick: so hot, it's stolen,
Your dick look like Gary Coleman,

My dick: pink and big,
Your dick stinks like shit,
My dick got a Caesar do,
Your dick needs a tweezer, dude,

My dick is like super size,
Your dick look like two fries,
My dick: more mass than the Earth,
Your dick: half staff, it needs work,

My dick: been there done that,
Your dick sits there with dunce cap,
My dick: V.I.P.,
Your shit needs I.D.,

My dick need no introduction,
Your dick don't even function,
My dick served a whole lunch-in,
Your dick: it look like a munchkin,

My dick: size of a pumpkin,
Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin,
My dick: good good lovin',
Your dick: good for nothin',

My dick bench pressed 350,
Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty,
My dick: pretty damn skimpy,
Your dick: hungry as a hippie,

My dick don't fit down the chimney,
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines,
My dick is like an M16,
Your dick: broken vending machine,

My dick parts the seas,
Your dick farts and queefs,
My dick: rumble in the jungle,
Your dick got touched by your uncle,

My dick goes to yoga,
Your dick: fruit roll-up,
My dick: grade-A beef,
Your dick: Mayday geek,

My dick: sick and dangerous,
Your dick: quick and painless,
My dick: 'nuff said,
Your dick loves Fred.

- Mickey Avalon

Super Bon Bon

Move aside
and let the man go through,
Let the man go through.

If I stole
Somebody else's wave
to fly up,

If I rose
up with the avenue
behind me,

Some kind of verb,
Some kind of moving thing,
Something unseen,
Some hand is motioning,
to rise, to rise, to rise.

Too fat, fat you must cut lean,
You got to take the elevator to the mezzanine,
Chump change, and it's on,
Super bon bon, Super bon bon

And by the phone
I live in fear,
Sheer chance will draw
You in to here...

- Soul Coughing